The other morning I read a devotional that made me realize that Im dealing with the ex as God wants me to
In the devotion it said "We are to go out 0f our way to be kind, show good will and pray for those who are against us."
it isnt always easy
Sometimes I am tempt to take revenge for all that I have been though
However, something always holds me back
Maybe its that I know Jesus' will on all this
"the love Jesus speaks of does not retaliate or seek revenge"
I feel better knowing Im dealing with things as God would have deal with them
Its up to God to deal in time with the ex and what hes done
Gods love "does not critically judge, it forgives freely and gives generously"
I am working on the forgiveness
and many people have said I am very generous
I sometimes feel too generous
I sometimes feel almost as if i am saying to myself when seeing the ex youve hurt me however I am extending my other cheek to hurt too
I know whats important in all this
D4 and whats best for him
"Pure love is giving when there is no hope of receiving love, appreciation or thanks"
The ex always feels like Im trying pull the one up on him
this isnt true
I want whats best for D4
I know too well how it feels to give without being treated as I should be nor thanked
I have consistently chosen the wrong men for the last 20 years
not anymore
from now on Im choosing God
"Such love shines"
I want to shine out my light for Jesus
So when I chose not to seek revenge I am in fact "being a powerful witness"
The last time I felt tempted I went to God for help
He loves me
As I receive His love - I am "able to share it with others" in this case namely in the way I choose to respond
Quotes are from Keith Harrington, 2005, 4o Days With Jesus page 37
4 comments:
With God on your side, you can do it, Jen. :D
You are doing the right thing, Jen.
Your conscience will be clear and you will not have your personality warped by bitterness. On a practical level also you are doing the right thing. When next the situation is reviewed by the court you have shown yourself to be reasonable, mature and capable of putting the interests of D4 before your own feelings. The ex is showing himself to be none of those things.
I would say pick your battles with care. Be amenable in the things that do not greatly matter but to stick to your guns over the two important things we know of that do, for it is in D4's interests that you win those.
It's not easy to do the right thing, but in the end, it brings greater rewards. Even if you're unable to reap the greatest rewards here on earth, you will have eternal rewards.
You're a good example to your kids. They will see how they should be handling difficult situations.
thanks Alice, Meg and Heather
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